Now for the dichotomy. On one hand, I abhor the phrase, "it takes a village." I really do. It should take parents to raise a child, not a village. We, as parents are given a responsibility by God that we should be ready to answer for. I dare say, many if not most of us aren't ready for that reckoning (and shouldn't be). But, it still is my responsibility to lead, guide, and teach my family in the ways of God. That's my job. The sooner I accept that, the sooner I can get busy about doing it well. So, between the fact that I know it to be my responsibility and what I see in the world, I want to be the one to parent my child.
I don't want to raise my child the way I was raised. No, I want to raise my child better. I was pretty strong headed as a child and was willing to point out to my parents (my mom especially) when they were wrong in how they were trying to raise me. This might account for the way that my mom backed off while I was still an early teen. My daughter now has her Facebook account because she has demonstrated that she has a better grip on using common sense (and her parent's advice) for how she lives her life and avoiding danger instead of dancing with danger assuming that she will be fine.
I say I want to be the one to parent my child because I am responsible and I don't want to be responsible for what other people do. That's plainly too much. But, I am responsible for how my wife and I raise our daughter. Then there is the question of what others would have to contribute to my child's upbringing. There are some that will guide her to live what she and we believe. There are those that will encourage her to use her strengths to protect against her weaknesses and be loving and kind while being strong. But, there are those too, that will tell her that her God doesn't expect her to live the way she chooses.
But then, there are kids out there that don't have two loving parents to teach them. There are kids who, like I often did, are figuring out how to raise themselves. They need more than what they have, that's plain to see. There are young men who want to be near my daughter but aren't who I want them to be. I have told my daughter that I won't chase off every boy that doesn't pass muster. I will try to teach them how to be what I want my daughter to have. The hard part is finding a young man that will take that challenge. (I doubt I would have.) So, it's plain that I am compelled to help others. So, maybe a village really is needed.
I do realize that there are some incredible people out there that want to stretch and grow my daughter. So, that said, if you ever see my daughter and some young boy doing what they ought not too, of course you have my permission to hose them down and give them what for. But, you don't need to try to convince me that she should have some experiences before she leaves home.
When I was in college, another school came to Central for a soccer game. The other school had a number of players and fans whose mouths were as filthy as they were loud. There was an outcry among many of our students. Unfortunately, the behavior of the other school's students was nothing extreme but rather our students didn't understand that was how some in the world lived. I don't want my daughter to be paralyzed out of shock when people do what people do. But, I also don't want to expose her to certain things just to keep her from being surprised. I once read that bankers don't study counterfeit money. Rather, they study the real thing so that they know it so well that counterfeit money will be obvious. That's how I want to raise my daughter. I want her to know what she believes and why so well that the world won't lead her astray.
So I live a dichotomy. I don't want the world to think they need to raise my daughter. She doesn't need a village. She needs her parents and small group of mentors that will continue to help her to become the beautiful woman that God created her to be. And yet, I want to contribute to those that need a helping hand. I know it might sound inconsistent and maybe even arrogant. But then, everything God wants you to be is rarely easy or terribly popular.