You see, my parents divorced when I was 10 years old. I and my father always blamed the end of the marriage on the after effects of my brother's death. I still think this was the case. In part, my mother must have blamed herself and carried a huge burden of guilt for the next 38 years. I suspect that my dad was right that she believed that HE blamed her. Which he was adamant was not the case. But the things that my mother said about how they related and the things that my father said to her were a completely story. I couldn't believe that he was say anything so horrible. It was inconceivable. Yet, I have come to a point where I not only have heard myself start to think similar things but I am fairly confident that I did treat people that way when I was about 20 years old.
I can see all the worst things that have ever been said of my father in myself. I can see the incredible impatience with other people that he was accused of. I can see what was interpreted as arrogance (it wasn't really). I can see it, but because I can identify it, I can also fight it. My wife is the one person that has done much to help me come to this place of, well enlightenment.
Tonight, I have realized some more of the benefits I have had from all her work. I am not only a much better person to be around. I actually have a deeper enjoyment of music and art and sacrifice and love. And strangely enough based on a memory, I was reminded tonight that not only has she changed how I see other people, she has changed how I believe other people see me. I went through several relationships before I met my lovely wife. Several times over I could and maybe even should have ended up married.